Tuesday, December 30, 2014

What was I Thinking?

The past couple weeks have been filled with holiday events and fun with family and friends.  It's been a wonderful time!  In addition to that I've been scouring my reference photos for painting possibilities for Leslie Saeta's January 2015 30in30 Challenge. To post my first painting early on January 1st, I'll have to start painting tomorrow.  Yikes!  I'm a little concerned.  I seem to be going into this Challenge more in a funk than fully prepared!  What was I thinking?

Having completed my first Challenge last September I would have thought I would be much more prepared and thus, excited.  My trepidation must come from the fact that I am fully aware of what it's going to take to complete the Challenge ( at least to my satisfaction).  I know there are going to be moments when I am frustrated, dejected, embarrassed to post what I've painted, and questioning why I am forcing myself to complete this silly Challenge.  There will be nights I drop into bed exhausted and annoyed...bad dreams will ensue.  The laundry will pile up.  Preparing meals will consist of anything fast and easy.  Food in the house will dwindle down to a few cans of soup and bread crumbs.  The dust will gather and the floors will be a mess!!  My poor husband and dog will have to beg for what little attention they will get from me.

Oh why, oh why did I sign up for this???  Who intentionally puts themselves through what is guaranteed to be an exhausting and frustrating month of non-stop painting?  I guess I did.  I secretly wish I could delete my name from the map listing the participating artists and locations that Leslie posts on her blog: www.lesliesaeta.blogspot.com.  Then I would just go about my business as though I had somehow overlooked signing up.  

Then I remember those breakthrough moments.  The progress I've made over the past year and especially during the month of September.  The few pieces I was very happy to call my own. Painting daily almost guarantees progress in one way or another.  For me, by the end of September I realized my best style falls somewhere in between Impressionism and Realism.   Would that be Imperialism? (Just kidding)

Without pain...there is no gain.  I will prepare today and hit the ground running tomorrow morning.  January's "theme" will be called "Family Matters".   My family provides such loving encouragement.  They help me overcome my self doubt and help me see myself as an actual artist.  The artist I always wanted to be as a child.  So I'll dedicate this effort to all of them.  See you tomorrow?


  1. LOVE THIS POST!!! You have put into words the secret fears of every artist - whether committing to a challenge or not. A wonderful thing happens with the increased painting time. Pretty soon, it just doesn't matter if the painting is up to par or not, because tomorrow is a new day and you will be doing it again! Best wishes and I know you will come through this like the shiny star you are :)

  2. Thank you for your post. I also signed up for the challenge in September but I did not follow through. So this year on January 1st I signed up at the last minute and did my first very tiny painting and every day since. I'm encouraged by your post and love your pastels! See you on Leslie's blog. We can do this!